My daughter and I were having a random conversation when “stupid people” emerged as a topic. Now, I’m not talking about regular people who just don’t know any better. No, this group consists of those who don’t know any better and really can’t figure out that they should. It’s because of this group that warning labels were created such as:
On a toaster oven: “Warning, inside coils will be very hot when oven is turned on.”
Duh, how can you not figure that out on your own?! It’s these kinds of people who tend to annoy us and yet amuse us at the same time. Comedians refer to these people all of the time and make a fortune off of them. And you know that the real reason it’s so funny is because somewhere there really is a person who thought or did that very thing.
Following our conversation we felt compelled to help this group somehow. So, in an effort to do just that, we decided that someone should organize a new therapy group: Retards Anonymous, a place where stupid people from all walks of life can go for help. But it doesn’t have to stop there, because Retards Anonymous can be expanded to help even those of us who are really smart but have, on occasion, done some really stupid things. I have to admit that even I could probably use some help in this area. You know what I’m talking about. You’ve been there too. You do something and then think, “Oh my God! How could I have just done/said that?!” And then of course you laugh with everyone else around you, because there really is nothing else you can do at this point, and chalk it up to a “blonde moment” or a “senior moment” (even though you’ve never been a blonde and you haven’t even hit 40 yet).
Nah, never mind. Life would just not be the same without stupid people and those embarrassing stupid moments we all have. Plus, just think of the number of comedians we’d put out of business.
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Retards Anonymous
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
I understand how some things seem to be so obvious but warning signs are posted anyways. Moving into my new apartment I had to buy some essentials, like soap. Fortunately for me I read the label. I now know that soap is only intended for external and not internal use. I also learned from the label I should not wash my eyes with soap, no matter how dirty my eyes may be. Those little precautionary notes are quite humorous because as you mentioned, someone must have tried it and now the manufacturers have to warn others about obvious dangers.
Um, I am the actual founder of a real group called RETARDS ANONYMOUS. I am not sure if you are going to be mean to me, but I figured out I was retarded when I calculated that if I was retarded, no one would probably tell me because it would hurt my feelings. By extension, everyone MUST BE retarded since you've either never been told or someone has tried to tell you at some point in your life.
THINK ABOUT IT. fnord.
I am looking for a version of 'Retards Anonymous' that coaches intelligent people how to deal with and put up with retards. I have a hard time with this. My patience is limiited and I get very frustrated and angry when having to deal with retards, idiots, and other forms of stupidity. Where can I go for help?
Post a Comment