The Brick Wall

One day later and I'm still thinking about the "brick wall" - if you have no clue what I'm talking about then read Monday's statement blog.

Why is it that so many of us continually disregard the obvious, running head on into the same brick wall time after time?! The brick wall is there-we know it,we see it,we feel the excruciating impact each time we hit it-and yet it's not enough to deter us from trying one more time to avoid it or break through it.
I have been there, and stayed there for about six long years before I realized that it was never going to change - I couldn't break through that wall. I also realized that I couldn't keep destroying myself little by little trying to.

So, the question I pose tonight is this: How do you help others who are doing the same thing to see the light before it's too late? I NEED to know the answer because it tears me apart to see people I love hurt. Knowing that the answer is there but their desperation to make it work refuses to acknowledge fact, and they plunge on into ignorance only to be hurt again and again. I want so badly to end their pain, place them back onto the road with a good map, and see them reach a better destination.

Ignorance is not bliss. Ignorance is a state of illusion, disregarding truth in order to avoid it.

Ignorance

Ignorance is bliss - until you hit the brick wall.

What Matters

Smiles on my children's faces
The sound of their laughter
Big hugs
Hearing "I Love You" from them
Making a connection with them
Knowing that I love them no matter what

Ugh!

Why is it that we work so hard all week long and then have to spend the weekend working at home?! Oh and long weekends like this one just means you have an extra day to get more done. Don't get the wrong idea, I love to keep up the house and yard. I gain real satisfaction in knowing that everything is just how it should be, and looks appealing to all who arrive. However, after some long hard consideration, I have come to the conclusion that I am not cut out for this double/triple/quadruple duty stuff. I am TIRED by the time the weekend arrives and I always bring home school work to boot. And of course you can't leave out the constant drama of life with an ex-husband, an eighteen year old daughter, and the general belligerence of a seven year old. It's hard to find time to get everything done and lately I'm so exhausted that the amount of satisfaction I usually derive from completing a task is waning. I can tell you one thing, if I had known then what I know now I would have chosen a career that makes a heck of a lot more money than teaching. Lets face it, you work just as hard and the "vacations" that you get are still spent working on papers and plans-it's just the scenery that changes. With a bigger paycheck I'd be calling someone else to cook, clean, and cut the grass. Oh yea, and buying fashionable clothing that matches the current style instead of the last decade.
This year I'm teaching a Sociology class for seniors and we just finished discussing statuses, roles and role conflict/strain. This concept was a breeze for them to grasp - I'm a living, breathing example.